A little backstory…I bought a nice box of Liga Privada No. 9 and inadvertently sent them to the guinea pigs tenant’s address. We used to live there which is why that address was a choice on the website. I was going to serve the notice-to-vacate yesterday but then thought better of it. I didn’t want them to do something to my cigars. They’re REALLY good cigars. So, I decided to wait until one of the tenants notified me that the cigars arrived and THEN I’d serve them.

I missed the first phone call saying they had arrived so I had to wait until someone was home. I requested the box was placed on the porch so I could just walk up, get it, and go. I had pre-written a text message informing them of the notice stuck to the door and that we would give them $1000 (I changed the amount) if they were out by the end of this month.

At 8ish PM, I left home for the ten minute drive to the unit. When I arrived, I parked where I could find a spot, walked up to the address, noticed the front door was closed (phew), quietly opened the difficult-to-open gate, put the notice in the security door, grabbed my cigars, exited the gate, got to my car, and sent the message.

I drove off expecting some quick texts, calls, etc. Nothing. As soon as I got home, RING! It was the male of the household trying to tell me his story wasn’t BS, blah, blah, blah. I informed him regardless if the story that the pigs were his sister’s and he was just watching them for a few days, the lease states he needs written permission to house pets. I told him the outside was disgusting and they’re out. “I’ll do anything!”, says he. “Sorry, you’re out. No more chances. You two are dishonest. Remember, $1000 if you’re out by the end of the month”, was my reply. “Okay”, he said in a dejected voice. Click.

A few minutes later, after I had lit one of my cigars to calm down, I get a text message from the female tenant who was at work, right across the street from where they live. The text read, “You said till Saturday to get rid of them why did you change your mind now”. My reply, “I thought about it and decided that was twice you were dishonest with me and twice you broke the lease. The backyard is disgusting. It looks exactly like when you lived next door. The guinea pigs were IN THE HOUSE again. I could smell them before I saw them. All of these reasons, that’s why. There will no other chances. Just let me know when you will be vacating. Like I said, $1000 if you’re out by the end of this month.” No reply so far.